Tonight, we did our own thing for dinner. It's rare when that happens, but tonight was one of those nights. I had Black Bean and Tofu Enchiladas. Spicy, but good.
I am really tired today. I've been working alot. In fact, I should technically be working right now. Does blogging count as work? I'm not sure. lol. It's hard to try to do it all. There's two sides of my writing life. The side that brings in money (required), and the side that we believe will bring in future money, though it's not guaranteed (also kinda required, for my sanity). Then, there's having a hubby and a future baby, and friends, and and and...
What I'm trying to say is that I want the whole enchilada. Is that even attainable?
I already know this will be ramblings, but... My thoughts are that nobody can have everything. For example, I've always wanted to live abroad, live the nomad lifestyle, drift from a Peruvian beach bungalow to a cozy cabin in the Rockies, publishing poetry for pennies. It's such a romanticized writer kind of life, the kind of stuff that makes great party conversation, but probably really SUCKS on a regular Tuesday. I used to sit at my corporate marketing job and imagine just such a life. Slave to no man, I'd think. Ya right. We're all working for somebody, right?
The reality is that, that kind of life is just not in my lifestyle lexicon. It's for someone else who wants it more. I think that's the key... trying to figure out what you want most, more than the other stuff. I think I've done this naturally in my life, discarding the stuff that didn't fit into that "Most" category. Sometimes I'd feel guilty about it, or worse, I'd feel a sense of failure. I think it's just part of life.
One of those things I've noticed has tapered is my desire to hit the gym seven days a week as hard as I can. I want to go to the gym alot, but it doesn't trump my writing or my hubby. It's a priority, but I don't want it most. Just alot, and that's different from most. Semantics? Yes. But, it's also true.
You might think I sound depressed. I'm not! Just waxing philosophical. Mostly, I've come to realize that if I'm going to write this blog, I need to just be who I am. I love to cook, I love to write about food, but I also just love to write.
Hi. I'm the blogger of Eat Move Write, with an emphasis on the "Write."
Nice to meetcha. :p
Yesterday, I wrote about my frustrations with school and life. A friend e-mailed me after reading it and told me that this is a way better than working at a job you hate (if you are one of those people that wants to do something other than just pick up a paycheck). Then I got thinking... what kind of person am i? Am I someone who wants to pick up a paycheck so I can have another life outside work? Or do I want to be someone who is happy at work?
ReplyDeleteThen I remembered that I'm still very young. I still have a lot ahead of me, and I'm lucky enough to have a supportive family. I guess it gets back to your point about semantics... I'm not sure what aspect of my life I want "most."
Sorry for the long rambling comment! Thanks for evoking these thoughts though!
I think all you can be is exactly who YOU are.
ReplyDeletethe enchiladas sound great!
ReplyDeleteGreat post!!! Figuring out what you want most can be hard though... that's where I have the problem. Once I decide what to do, I can follow through. It's just coming to a decision that's hard for me..
ReplyDeleteThose enchiladas sound fantastic! I struggle to find really good, tasty, veggie food sometimes. :o)
ReplyDeleteLife is all about give and take. You hit the nail on the head with the difference between the things you 'want' and the things you 'want most'. I want lots of things in life and I will get there eventually but probably slower than if I wanted those things the 'most'. But what I want most is to spend time with my kids...they come first hands-down. I like the other things I do, and I do them...but nothing competes with the time I need/want to spend with my kids.
ReplyDeleteGosh, I'm totally with you on this. There are some things that I really just want to do, if society and money and the world will allow (some secret wishes, etc.) but which would all suck when it fits in to reality/practicality. Oh, well. Guess that's why there are dreamers in each of us. :)
ReplyDelete