Friday, February 26, 2010

A Beautiful Disaster, I mean, Salad

Mishmash of thoughts and food...

It's Friday! Amazing how fast the days go. I feel like the week just started and here we are at the end of it again. Today, I have alot of article writing to do. I'm at my "office," aka Starbucks. When we move, I won't be able to come to this Starbucks as much, mainly because I won't be within walking distance of it. I'll miss it. I'm very productive here.

This week has been the week of friends. On Wednesday night, I had my friend Lorena over for dinner. Thursday, I met my other friend, Isela, for lunch. Last night, I took a walk and had dinner with my friend, Jess. Am I craving companionship? Maybe. I think mostly I realize how much I tend to distance myself from people. I get so busy with "ME," and I forget how much I enjoy spending time with everyone else. It's the writer thing. That reclusive, anti-social nature that seemed to plague so many of our most famous writers. I have to remember that many of those writers were very unhappy. People aren't meant to be alone. We crave companionship.

I think one of my issues is that I never feel like I can "just be me" around most people. It's this sense that I need to be interesting, clever, or understanding. Those are my roles. With some people, I'm that witty intellectual (aka "the writer"). With others, I'm "the shoulder," the one you come to, to divulge all about how you feel and think and to get my opinion on whatever it is. Like I know anything. :p We all have these roles. I feel like I'm this ever-dripping faucet of whatever people need from me: understanding, information, or witticism. It makes me wonder what I'm requiring of other people. I know I must require things of them, but I don't know that I'm conscious of what that actually is.


This sounds like a complaint. It's not. I actually love getting to play those roles. I love that people trust me, think I'm interesting or funny. It's cool people actually think I know enough about life for them to want my opinion. I mean, who wouldn't be flattered by that? It's just an interesting reality. And, sometimes, it's tiring. Just a little. That feeling you have to "turn it on." Sometimes, I'm amused by these roles we play. I'll be talking on the phone to a friend and realize that they have a very skewed view of me because of the roles we've settled into.

I think what started this all is my friend who called me earlier this week. She was very upset about certain things in her life and we talked about how sometimes we take on roles so wholeheartedly because it's easier to play that role than actually deal with all the other parts of who we are. For her, it was taking on the mother role to the point that she's losing the wife role. That happenes to alot of people, and it made me more aware of the roles I take on in my relationships.

How do you strike that balance and be all the things you are? That's mostly a rhetorical question, but if you have thoughts on that, please share!


Food...

Tofu Tacos w/Lorena


Hubby asked for a salad last night. We were having leftovers and he didn't want the previous night's tofu tacos. He thought this salad was just beautiful. It has romaine, spinach, fresh chopped mushrooms, fresh red cabbage, honey turkey (deli sliced), almonds, pieces of a pepperjack cheesestick, and fresh ground pepper.


Last night's leftovers with Jess.



Now, back to reguarly scheduled programming, which includes me doing some serious article writing!!!

Tootles!

7 comments:

  1. Hey Jasmine! Great post! Love that you made time to hang with your friends! :) we writers DO tend to be reclusive (guilty!). About the different roles we play...i understand. i think friendships naturally build upon the roles that get started early on. i guess it's helped me to be honest with my boyf and friends about when i need something specific from the relationship or need to change the dynamic a bit. in my experience, they've always been open to changing the roles a bit to make the relationship stronger!
    xoxo

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  2. That salad sounds yummy!!!
    And such an amazing post. So very true. I tend to do that too.. mold myself into what others want (or that I think they want) of me, which can result in losing yourself. And that's not good. I just want to be me and be happy being me. Easier said than done.

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  3. Glad you got to spend some time with your friends. It's always a joy to be with them. That salad looks really delicious. I'm not a huge fan of tofu, though; it just tastes really bland to me.

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  4. That taco looks really delicious, though! Good luck with your writing.

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  5. I don't know how I 'balance'...most of the times I don't think I do it at all...or at least not very well.

    I'm guilty of being reclusive and living only in my little world too. I think it happens to everyone.

    Oh...btw....if you liked The Handmaid's Tale you would probably also like 'Oryx and Crake' by Atwood too. I'm almost done with it and so far it's good :)

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  6. I love those few days that pop up where food and friends seem to be the running theme.
    I strike balance by choosing happiness. I beleive happiness is a choice - not 100%, all the time, but in general. By choosing happiness, I don't complain, I eat food that makes me and my body happy, I love my friends, family and husband and I look at my surroundings and feel thankful, happy. Happiness is what gets me though. Loving life.

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