Letting the Words Lead Me

I am so backwards. I've been sitting here for the past five minutes trying to think of a title to sum up this day, and it occured to me how ridiculous that is. Why can I never let things be what they are and tell their own story?

I'll tell you why. Because I'm a writer, but I'm not just a writer, I'm also a control freak. Its an inherent need in me to control the direction of my life, my work, my words. I was in a writing class once with a group of talented writers of all ages, but one man, a little older than the rest of us, had that quiet sort of genius that doesn't strike you; instead, it sneaks up on you like a tap on the back. Part of the class requirement was peer critique. On the day it was my turn to be critiqued, I was eager to hear his take on my work. He said all the usual things. Good command of language, interesting juxtapositions, etc. But, then he said something that I didn't quite understand at the time. He said (ok, I'm paraphrasing, but you know), "You can tell this writer knows where she wants to go before she even begins. I would love to see what would happen if she just let the words lead her."

I think at the time I was annoyed, but I realize now that he was exactly spot-on. I tend to be one of those people you look at and think, "Wow, she's really got it together." And, I do. Until life gets messy, and then, my smooth exterior crumbles and I scramble to keep the pieces of my world in order. When, in fact, I know that order is just cleverly crafted illusion anyway.

Anywho, all that is to say, today was a series of unfortunate events. At the office, our software quit working, so I came home to use my own software because we had deadlines, only to discover my internet wasn't working. So, while I could complete the task, I couldn't deliver it. It was a maddening appearance of Murphy's law, and I wasn't appreciating the humor. I found myself snacking on pretzels to "get control." Finally, things worked out, as they inevitably will, and I pulled myself together to go meet a friend for coffee. And, there my story changes (as it also inevitably will).

What began as a horrible day, turned into a wonderful and unexpected evening. I met my friend around 4pm. We grabbed iced coffees and a couple comfy chairs to sink into. I also treated myself to a riced krispie treat. (Forgot to picture - sorry.) We covered the gamut of topics. Politics, racism, travel, careers, eating disorders (speaking of control), and so on. What felt like 20 minutes later, I checked my phone and nearly felt out of my chair to see FOUR HOURS had passed without either of us giving a thought to the time. We said our hurried goodbyes and went our separate ways. Walking to my car, I realized how rare an occurance it is in my life to sit with a friend without any sense of urgency to be somewhere else, to simply get lost in the conversation, to actually relax and let the "words lead me." (Yes, I'll admit. I kinda knew where I was going with that.)

Want to know something ironic? This morning, I was thinking that I wanted to write a blog about the affects of stress on your health and suggestions on how to manage it... I guess I just did that. :) Funny how that works.

Now, without further ado, I give you my food...

AM Snack: Starbucks and Pretzels

Lunch: Ginormous Salad with Almond Butter and Jelly toast

PM Snack: Organic Vanilla Yogurt, Raspberries and a PB Kashi Bar Crumbles

Dinner: BBQ Asian Chicken mixed with some Broccoli Slaw,

Served over a Bed of Greens with a Side of Grapes

Well, goodnight, my sweets. I'm going to go spend some time with the hubby I've been neglecting as of late.

P.S. My girl Charlene wrote a good blog about Protein today. Check it out.

xoxo

-j